Coping
by My Personal Rose
Summary: Set during 'Theatricality' after the auditorium scene with 'Funny Girl'. Rachel's kind of in shock. Some slight Faberry, when Quinn involves herself. Also a follow-up to 'Twentytwo'.
1. Dream On

_**l**__**A/N: Just something I put together after watching episode 20. So it kind of contains spoilers/will only make sense after episode 20 'Theatricality'.**_

_**Will also make a lot more sense after reading my story Twenty two, as this is set after then. It might explain a bit.**_

_**And this is a small Faberry one-shot. But only a little bit of Faberry. Might turn into a two parter.  
**_

xoxoxoxox

"_I'm so sorry, Rachel. I'll call you."_

It's funny how far words _that_ quiet can carry in a space this big. But even as I sit here, high above them, in these balcony-view seats, I can hear her. I expect an echo to fill up the void her words have left, as Mercedes stares at the scene in front of us, her mouth a little open.

"Damn. That is… that's rough." She whispers, and I watch Rachel, wondering if she knows we're up here. She doesn't seem to have noticed, and now I feel horrible, like I've been eavesdropping.

"Intense." I agree, nodding slightly. "Can you give us a moment?"

"Who? You and Rachel?" The look Mercedes gives me would almost be laughable, but I close my eyes for a moment. I breathe.

"Yes." I look at Mercedes, hoping she doesn't ask too many questions. "Me and Rachel."

"And you're going to be nice, right?"

"Of course. Now, please?"

Mercedes nods, and heads to the exit. I work my way down the stairs, and to the main door of the auditorium, the big one at the back. I take a few steps, as quietly as I can. I don't want to startle her.

Rachel still hasn't moved when I'm only a few feet away, and I try to make myself noticed.

"Rachel?" My voice is soft, but clear enough to be heard, but she doesn't move. "Rach?"

"I know you're there, Quinn." There's a sniff as she tries to rein in her tears, one hand wiping her cheek.

"Oh."

"You're not very good at sneaking up on people. I don't advise taking up burglary as a profession."

"It's not all that easy to sneak when you're pregnant." I shrug, even though she still isn't looking at me. But she does move. Rachel's head moves down a little, and to the side, sort of half facing me.

"God. It seems so… selfish. To feel like this when it is _nothing_ like…" Finally she looks at me, her eyes flicking to my (now quite obvious) stomach for a moment before meeting my own. "Compared to your life, this is stupid."

I smile a little at her bluntness, but shake my head. "No. It's definitely not stupid."

And just like that, Rachel faces the front once more. "I guess you heard then."

"We were still in our spy positions." My voice wavers, my guilt showing as I move to sit next to her, feeling huge in the tiny gaps between the chairs. "Sorry."

A small shrug. "I feel a little better that you didn't just… leave." There's a pause, and it's weighted. And so I'm the most patient that Quinn Fabray has ever been, and wait for her to say something. "I really thought this would be different."

She sounds so tiny, and fragile that I just want to take her into my arms and tell her things to make her smile. Instead I just turn in my chair as best as I can, my arm resting on the back of my seat, almost touching her shoulder.

"Not what you were expecting, huh?"

"No. I mean, she's right. I wanted the slow motion run, that cuts into an intense and emotional hugging scene. Preferably with some kind of tear-jerking instrumental in the background. But I guess that's just…"

"Your little Rachel Berry mind over-planning again?"

"Exactly." Rachel sighs, her shoulders drooping. "Apparently it's a family trait."

"Who knew?" I try and quip, but it's not very successful- and a little inappropriate. My hand quivers, wanting to touch her, to offer some sort of comfort. Though things are a little weird between us lately. I can't figure out how to act towards her anymore.

"I just want a mom, Quinn. Why is that so much to ask?"

My heart tightens in my chest, my arm reaching around Rachel's shoulders, whilst my other hand moves towards my baby bump. Her words stick in my mind, repeating as Rachel falls into my shoulder, relaxing into the kind of hug. I feel her shake in my arms. It's almost a shiver, and her tears are all but silent. It's not the kind of crying I expect from the tiny diva I hold in my one-armed hug.

"It's not. Believe me, it's not."

Sniffling a little, Rachel pulls back to look at me. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I know I have a mom, but it doesn't feel like it." I shrug. "Sometimes, on really bad days- when I'm tired, and hurting, and feeling ill… and Puck's being a bit of an ass- I get really lonely. I just curl into a ball and… all I want is my mom. She was never there when I needed her."

"Oh, Quinn…"

"But at least I've had one." The words spill out of my mouth quickly. "I mean, sixteen years is a long time to go without."

"I can't figure out if this is what I want." Rachel shakes her head, and I scoot as close as I can. "I'm just not sure if I'm ready for this yet."

"Well, then take it at your own pace. If it feels wrong, slow it back down." I shrug, and her head goes back to resting on my shoulder. "Just because you know who she is, you don't need to rush things."

"You're right. I can see how it goes." Rachel whispers, and I breathe in deeply. She smells amazing, and my eyes close. For a moment I forget, and my head turns into her, my lips coming to rest on her forehead. They stay there until Rachel moves, pulling away to look at me, but staying close. Too close for me.

"Quinn…"

"I know." I sigh. "You said… _we_ said no. I'm sorry-"

And then suddenly it doesn't matter how sorry I am, because her lips are on mine, and they're the softest thing I know. Her arms come up, around my neck, pulling us closer, and her tongue runs across my lower lip. I'm about to open my mouth, let her in, but-

"Rach…" My voice hardly works, a whisper as I pull away. Straight away I'm pulled back, her hands in my hair. I feel a slight tug as she pulls at my ponytail, letting my hair loose. "Wait-" I try again, pushing her away from my mouth. Instead her lips turn to my neck, trailing kisses down to collar of my blouse top. "Rachel!" I almost squeal, my hands now inbetween us.

"But Quinn…" The tone kills me. She sounds hurt, rejected. "I thought this was what you wanted."

"No! Well, yes. But not like _this_." I sigh, and take her hands in mine. "I know this is a lot to deal with, but I don't want to be your… way of coping."

Rachel frowns a little, but nods. The vulnerability she's giving off is killing me, and I wonder if I can really leave her alone like this. She met us here. She should be getting the train home.

But that's not going to happen.

"Oh." Rachel's simple reply comes. "Then how do you think I should cope? With Jesse?"

"No. God, no. I think you need to talk to your dad's. Tell them what happened. We'll talk afterwards, okay?" Rachel nods, and so I stand, holding out my arm for her. "Are you coming?"

"Coming where?"

"I'm driving you home."

"Really, Quinn. You don't have to. I have a train ticket-"

"Stop fighting me, Berry. You can't resist me."

Rachel takes my hand, meeting my eyes as she looks up, cracking the smallest of smiles. "No. I don't think I can."


	2. Stars

_**AN:**__ Another part, because I had a reasonable response to the last chapter. Enough to make me happy at least. If anyone does want another bit to finish it off, maybe a moment after Regionals or during, then send in some ideas, and I'll see what I can do. I might not use them directly, but I'm sure they'll inspire me._

_Once more, thank you to Live2rite. For always supporting me, and what I choose to do. And for helping me find my plots._

xoxoxoxox

Rachel's shoulders shake a little, and I tense. I have to force myself not to rush in there, go after her, and instead watch her mother walk out of the room, straight past me.

I can't help but watch as Shelby strides down the hall, my mouth a little open. I haven't seen her this close before, and the way she looks… it shocks me a little.

It takes me a moment to pull myself together, and then follow her, down the hall. I have to stop at a cross section, not knowing which way she's turned, and listen for the click of her heels. I move as quickly as I can, which isn't really all that fast, considering the size of my baby bump.

I see her, opening the heavy door at the main entrance to the school. Instantly the sound of outdoors fills the space, the drumming echoing down the hall as the rain hits the ground outside.

"Miss Corcoran!"

She stops, and turns, arm still holding open the only nearby exit.

"Can I help you?" She frowns at me for a moment, and I notice her eyes flicker to my stomach. For once the look on her face isn't disgust. It's more like sympathy than pity, and she's good enough to look back at my face afterwards.

"No. Not me- just Rachel." I shake my head, and Shelby's eyebrow rises. At least now she's a little interested.

"And do I know you?"

"No, but I know her."

Her hand drops to her side, and she turns to face me fully, taking me in. "I'm listening."

"Okay…" I take in a deep breath, and steel myself. "You need to fix this."

"Fix what? We've talked about this and-"

"She needs her mom." I shrug. "I know it must be scary for you. That it's got to be hard."

For the first time Shelby's face seems to show some true emotion, her eyes closing. "I get it." I take a step forward and Miss Corcoran shakes her head, throwing open the door and walking into the rain. I follow her, stepping quickly to keep up.

"Miss Corcoran!"

"You have no idea what this is like!" Shelby spins on her heel, the rain already soaking through her hair. I can feel it quickly working its way through my clothes, and shiver. "Sixteen years! I haven't seen her for so long… and all this time I was dreaming about cradling a little girl in my arms! Well, now she's grown up. She doesn't need me."

"Doesn't she?" I scowl at her, my own hand reaching for my stomach, suddenly feeling a little protective.

"She's done fine so far." The woman in front of me just shrugs, and I nod.

"You're right. She has." I notice the look of hurt that flashes across her face, and almost smile. "She's smart, she's beautiful, she's… funny, when she doesn't try to be. Rachel is talented- _so_ talented-"

"I know."

"And she knows exactly where she wants to be in her life, and she's passionate about it. Sure, she's a little quirky. She can be a little brutal, but she's always honest. She's never lied to me- well, maybe once. And so what if she likes sticking gold stars on all of her audition sheets-" Shelby's head snaps up, and I falter at the intense look she's giving me.

"She likes gold stars?"

"Are you kidding me? They're like crack to her- if crack was a metaphor for something." I smile, thinking of the smile she has every time she gets out her book of gold stars. The little girl inside me kicks.

For a moment we're silent, and I wrap my arms around my baby bump, watching as Shelby's hair sticks to her face. She looks beautiful, and for a moment it's like I'm seeing Rachel, years on from now. Silently I pray to God that I still know her then, and hope that he's listening to me.

"So, I guess you know her pretty well then, huh?"

I frown, more to myself than to Miss Corcoran. "Not as well as I'd like to."

"But you seem to care."

I shrug. "Maybe a bit." I look away, knowing my cheeks are probably a little flushed. "Look, I know she's turned out great. Technically, no. She doesn't need a mother figure in her life. But I think she deserves one." I look to Shelby, and she meets my eyes. "Or at least a friend."

"I think I can manage that." Her lips slowly curve into a tiny smile, and she nods, thoughtful. "But I also think I need some time." Shelby notices me open my mouth to say something, and puts up her hands. "I will talk to her though, soon. Maybe after all the Regionals tension is over." She takes a step backward, looking up at the dark, night sky, the rain dripping down her face. Her eyes almost sparkle when she looks at me once more. "You'll take care of my baby girl, right?"

"She's pretty good at taking care of herself." I chuckle softly. "But I'll do my best."

With one final nod, Shelby disappears into the night.

"So, I'm 'quirky', huh?" I spin, and see nothing but darkness behind me. Then I notice movement, and see Rachel, coming out of the shadows, towards me.

"I, uh…" My mouth opens and shuts a few times, unsure what to say. "You heard that?"

She nods, and I tense, waiting to be given a lecture or something, but she just walks towards me slowly, a sly smile on her face. "Relax." She whispers the words, and I'm surprised I can hear them over this rain. But of course, the rain only just registers in my mind right now. "I also heard 'beautiful'." Her hands smooth back my hair, her fingers running through it. They come to rest on my shoulders, her thumbs stroking the back of my neck. "'Smart'." She moves closer, and I swallow to keep from shaking. "'Talented'." Her lips are right by my ear, and I shiver as her lips move against my skin. "'Funny'." I feel a kiss, just under my ear. "And 'passionate'."

I pull back a little, to look into her eyes, and I see the tears, glistening in the little light. "You're still upset." I whisper, and Rachel shakes her head, even as a tear slips down her cheek. I don't know how, but I can spot it. It's so different from the rest of the water droplets the rain has left on her skin. Her eyes are even a little red from crying.

"Rachel…" I take her into my arms. I close my eyes, and she squeezes, closing any space between us. I feel her breath in, shakily, and then her lips are back on my skin, on my neck. I freeze, not moving as she pulls away, one of her hands finding its way to my cheek, cupping it gently. In one swift movement she's closed the gap, our lips meeting in a soft kiss. I sigh, thinking back to our last kiss. Once more she's crying, and so I pull away, reluctantly, but easing my guilt. "Rach, stop. Please." Her eyes snap open, full of confusion.

"But Quinn…"

"I can't do this when you're crying, Rachel. I've told you before."

"God, Quinn! I may be crying, but it doesn't mean I don't want to kiss you." She raises her chin, making sure to meet my eyes with her own dark ones.

"You're upset."

"No." Rachel leans forward, giving me a soft kiss. "I'm not." I raise an eyebrow, staring her down. "Well, maybe a little." She shrugs, and a small laugh escapes her lips. "But mostly… I'm just a little overwhelmed."

"About what?"

"Well, about my… Shelby. And about you."

"Me?" I whisper, the words almost catching in my throat.

"You." She nods, and rests her forehead on mine. "I want to break up with Jesse."

For a moment I can't find my voice, and then I blurt it out. "For real?"

"For real." She nods once more, and I can't meet her eyes.

"That's good… but-"

"There's always a 'but'." Rachel sighs, frustrated and pulling away a little.

"Wait! Just…hear me out. That's good- I don't want you with Jesse. But… can we let the drama in my life just… settle down a little?" She's quiet, and so I explain more. I need her to get this. "I'm living with Puck, for God's sake. I'm almost ready to pop out his child… just let everything calm down. Once I've had this baby girl. Then it won't matter so much, what happens between Puck and me. I can't live with him and date his ex-girlfriend."

There's a long pause, and then I see Rachel smile. Just a little. "Dating, huh?"

"One day." I bite my lip, but she breaks into a true Rachel Berry sized grin, throwing her arms around me, and holding her lips against mine like… like she needs me to breathe. Her hands find a place in my hair, and mine snake around her waste, making her shiver as they run along the small of her back. "By the way…" I breathe between kisses. "This dress… is _really_ sexy."

Rachel pulls her lips from mine, and lets out a… _giggle_ when I move forward to try and kiss her again. "Oh, Quinn." She sighs loudly, dramatically, shaking her head. The rain has made her hair a lot darker, and it's hard not to just pull her towards me again. "We're not even dating yet."

"Does that mean we can't make out?" I frown, and Rachel shakes her head.

"You seriously think that's an option? You know I can't resist you." The quirk in her eyebrow sends a shiver through my body, and she takes my hand, leading me to my car (it's the only one left this late). "In fact I think we've got a lot of catching up to do."

I want to ask about Jesse, and she seems to see it in my eyes. She nods, and says 'Soon'. It settles the feeling in my gut.

As she takes my hand, walking a little ahead of me I let my eyes wander back to the dress she's wearing, and look up at the sky above me.

_Thank you_, I mouth, and the stars shine back at me, brighter than I've ever seen them.

xoxoxoxox

_**AN: So… what's in store for them after this? Should they finally get together?**_


End file.
